Staying on the Right Road: Purpose and the Pull of Comparison

You can do the right things for the wrong reasons.

In 1959, that VW Bug was the Wenzlermobile. It might have started there—tent on top, three kids in back—somewhere between countries, not knowing the road would one day lead me here…

What a night.

Sometimes we do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Sometimes we do the right thing for the wrong reasons.

Sometimes we do the wrong things for the wrong reasons.

When that happens—any of it—there’s only one way to get back on the right road…

You know I’ve been piddling around—fiddling?—with an idea that if I were a real writer… or cooler, maybe, a little more popular, I’d expand my base, so to speak— move my home base to the popular place.

That right there should have been a yellow light—to slow down. If not a red one. Stop. After two speeding tickets, I do stop at yellow lights now. I’m more present. I pay attention and keep my mind on the road.

Our Bible study last week was on listening well, as we studied James 1. Part of it was to evaluate yourself as a listener on a scale from 1 to 10.

Ten meant you listen with your whole being—pay attention. You are present.

I’ve been told I’m a good listener. Except for the man I live with—Gpa Todd—does say quite often, “You didn’t hear what I said.“

Listening is more than hearing.

I get distracted—especially at home. I’m often thinking about what I’m writing, or didn’t write, or have yet to write.

He deserves better. I gave myself a 5.

Then I found out scoring a 1 meant that when someone else is talking, you’re mostly thinking about yourself—about some similar experience, or what you’re going to say next…

So I crossed out the 5. Right.

I’m a one.

But thank goodness for the wonderful women at my table. We had a great discussion, and I ended up feeling not as bad about myself… anyway…

What was I saying…?

Oh, right. Doing the right thing for the right reason. Like writing for the right reason, which is not about being cooler or more popular. And, if I’m completely honest, that is where I find myself.

So I am at a full stop.

In the night. I woke up just miserable.

Why? The voice in my head asked me: Why do you need another platform to distract yourself?

I’d spent the entire week—when I should have been working on other things—going back and forth with the idea of expanding to Substack. I was just about ready to move out of my cozy blog space, where I’ve been for years— 13 to be exact for some of you. (Like a baker’s dozen, I reasoned. I’d stayed a bonus year. It was time to move on.)

But why? And for what?

You think about these things at 2:00 a.m.

I felt a little like the man in the parable about the treasure hidden in a field. When the man found it, he hid it again, and in his joy, he went and sold all that he had and bought that field.

It’s like that, except I am still holding on to the other field.

The question isn’t really about where I write.

I was feeling pretty low when I gave up on sleep, turned on the light, and picked up a book on my nightstand that a friend recommended, Rees Howells, Intercessor.

I just happened to open it to Chapter 10.

“A Branch in the Vine”

How fortuitous. Mr. Howells tells a story that made me ask: What am I depending on instead of the Spirit?

By 5:00 a.m. I was praying, “I promise that will never happen again.”

I gave up any claim to my writing. And, once again, promised to give Him whatever He asked for. But I couldn’t do that on my own. I needed the Holy Spirit to lead and guide.

I’m still pondering the fact that I picked up that particular book when I had so many choices…so many books.

Sometimes things happen like that. I’m led to do the right thing for the right reason.

At 5:00 a.m., I prayed for two more hours of sleep because we had friends coming for dinner. I slept soundly till 7:00.

So, all this to say, I realized, again, when I find myself all upset and confused about what to do, I’ve probably been depending on the wrong thing and find the Spirit withdrawn, and worse, grieved. I travel along, heavy-hearted, until I just can’t stand it.

Like at the 2 o’clock hour.

So, to circle back to my Bible study.

James has been criticized for his message of listening and doing. To be honest, it can send me back in the wrong direction, feeling I’m not doing enough.

Writing can often feel that way. It takes up so much time and space. Alone.

But it’s time I spend sitting at Jesus’ feet. At this point in my life, He’s given me the hours to do this. It’s a treasure.

God wasn’t saying to put my pen away. Or not to write on Substack. Our teacher ended by saying it’s all about balance.

Good balance comes when you dance with the Spirit, so to speak. You let God lead.

You can do the right thing for the wrong reasons.

To get back in step, I go back to God’s Letter—His Word. Then, depend on his lead. And before I know it, I’m back in the flow.

Moving. Writing. Living.

Whatever the season I’m in, the flow happens when I live according to His purpose. The Spirit will readjust as needed, when needed.

“He can’t be a guest in the house,” Oswald Chambers says. “He invades everything.”

As He leads, our part is to follow (to fish, raise kids, caretake… to write all that He reveals).

Like a little wink from God, my new subscribers on Substack doubled last week–from 5 to 10. Now if only my listening would do the same.

I press on toward the goal, to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Happy Saturday—

xx dwf

_______

Book mentioned: Reese Howells Intercessor by Norman Grubb

Scriptures referenced: James 1: 1-27; Philippians 3:14.